"Hi Mum" scam and grandparent scams: how to protect your family

By James editorial team, Golan Europe S.L. · Published 1 November 2026 · 8 min read

In a "Hi Mum" or grandparent scam, a criminal pretends to be your child or grandchild in trouble and asks for money fast. It may come as a text, a WhatsApp message or even a cloned voice. Before you pay anything, contact the person on the number you already have for them, or ask for your family's safe phrase. A real child can wait five minutes.

How the "Hi Mum" message usually starts

The first message is often short and friendly. Something like: "Hi Mum, I dropped my phone in the bath. This is my new number. Can you save it?"

Nothing is asked for at first. The scammer wants you to reply and start chatting. Because you think it is your son or daughter, you fill in the gaps yourself. You may even use their name, which tells the scammer who to pretend to be.

Then comes the request. A bill is due today. Their banking app is locked on the new phone. They need you to pay a friend, a landlord or a shop for them. They promise to pay you back tomorrow. Often they ask you not to call because "the phone is broken" or "I can't talk right now".

The UK government's Stop! Think Fraud campaign lists the signs of a fake text. These include a message from a family member asking for money, a sense of urgency or panic, and messages sent very late at night or very early in the morning^[1].

How grandparent scams on the phone work

The older version of this scam comes by phone. A young voice says, "Grandma? It's me." The grandparent says a name, and the caller becomes that grandchild.

The story is always an emergency. They have had a car accident. They have been arrested. They are stuck abroad. Sometimes a second person comes on the line: a "lawyer", a "police officer" or a "hospital worker". That makes it sound official.

Two things are almost always there:

• Secrecy. "Please don't tell Mum and Dad. They'll be so angry."
• Speed. "I need the money in the next hour or I'll be kept in."

Some scammers ask for cash to be collected by a courier at the door. Others ask for a bank transfer or gift cards. The secrecy is the key part. It stops the grandparent from calling the one person who could tell them the truth in seconds.

When the voice sounds real: AI voice cloning

This is the part that worries families most. Criminals can now use artificial intelligence to copy someone's voice from a short clip. The clip might come from a video posted online. Stop! Think Fraud warns that fraudsters use AI voice cloning to pretend to be someone you know, in an urgent situation, asking for a payment^[1]. It also warns about deepfakes, where images or video are faked to look like a real person.

So "I know my grandson's voice" is no longer enough. The voice can sound right. The caller ID can also be faked to show a number you know^[1].

What still works is something a cloned voice cannot copy: a private fact or phrase, and a call you make yourself.

Set up a family safe phrase today

A safe phrase is a word or short phrase that only close family knows. If someone calls or texts claiming to be family and asks for money, you ask for the phrase. If they cannot give it, you stop. Stop! Think Fraud recommends this, and advises never sharing the phrase outside close family and friends^[1].

Tips for a good safe phrase:

• Make it something odd and easy to remember, like "purple teapot" or the name of a childhood pet that is not on social media.
• Do not use birthdays, street names or anything a stranger could find online.
• Agree it face to face or on a call, not in a group chat that might be hacked.
• Make sure every grandchild knows it too, and knows why it matters.

Do not let the caller "help" with the phrase. A scammer may say, "Gran, I'm too stressed to remember the code." That is your sign to hang up.

You can also agree a simple question instead, such as "What did we have for lunch last Sunday?" The answer changes each time, so it is hard to guess.

How to check it really is your child

If a message or call asks for money, slow down. A short check costs nothing.

1. Do not reply on the new number. Do not click any links.
2. Call or message your child on the number you have always used. If their phone really is broken, try their partner, a housemate or their workplace.
3. Ask a question only they would know, or ask for the safe phrase.
4. Talk to another family member before you send anything.
5. Never pay a stranger's account "for" your child. A genuine family member can wait for you to check.

Stop! Think Fraud says: break the contact, then check by contacting the person directly on a number you already have and know is correct^[1]. The FCA, the UK financial regulator, also warns about messages that rush you or make you feel worried^[2].

If it turns out to be your child after all, they will understand. Most will be glad you checked.

Talking about it without scaring anyone

Grandparents can feel embarrassed by scam talk. They may feel you think they are "losing it". It helps to make it about the family, not about them.

You might say: "There's a scam where people pretend to be grandchildren. We want everyone, including us, to use a safe phrase." When everyone has the same rule, nobody feels singled out.

A review from University College London looked at why older adults are at risk of online money crime. It pointed to things like social isolation, limited cyber security skills and how society sees scam victims. It also noted that older people rarely report this kind of crime, and named reducing stigma as one way to help^[3]. That matters at home too. A grandparent who fears being judged may pay quietly rather than ask.

So say it often: "If anything like this ever happens, call me first. I will never be cross." That one sentence can stop a scam.

Some other steps that help:

• Lock down social media. Scammers learn names, schools and holiday plans from public posts. The NCSC, the UK's cyber security agency, advises reviewing privacy settings^[4].
• Block and report on WhatsApp. If a message is fake, block the number and use the app's report option^[4].
• Agree a money limit. For example, "I never send more than a small amount without talking to one of my children."

For more on phone tricks like fake banks and fake police, see our guide to phone scams targeting older people.

If money has already been sent

Act quickly. Speed can make a real difference.

• Call the bank straight away, using the number on the back of the card. Tell them it was a scam. Ask if the payment can be stopped.
• Do not send anything more, even if the scammer calls back with a new story.
• Keep the evidence. Do not delete the messages. Take screenshots.
• Report it. In the UK, Stop! Think Fraud explains where to report and how to get support^[1]. In the US, report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov^[5]. If it happened online, you can also report to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center^[6].

If someone is at the door to collect cash and you feel unsafe, call 999 in the UK or 911 in the US.

Our full guide on what to do if your elderly parent has been scammed covers the next steps, including the "we can get your money back" scams that often follow.

Where an AI companion fits

Some families wonder if an AI helper makes this better or worse. A good one should be honest that it is an AI and never ask for money. James is always clear that he is an AI, and if your parent is worried about a message, he can send a real message to the family member they chose and say whether it arrived. Our article on whether an AI companion is safe for seniors covers the questions to ask.

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