What to do if your elderly parent has been scammed

By James editorial team, Golan Europe S.L. · Published 1 November 2026 · 8 min read

Act fast and stay calm. First, call your parent's bank on the number on the back of their card and tell them it was a scam. Then change any passwords that were shared, report the scam to the official fraud service, and keep all the evidence. Above all, make sure your parent does not feel blamed. Scammers often come back, so be ready for a second attempt.

First: make sure your parent is safe

Before the money, check on the person. Are they alone? Is the scammer still on the phone or at the door? Are they frightened or confused?

If someone is outside the home to collect cash, cards or goods, or your parent feels threatened, call the emergency number: 999 or 112 in the UK, 911 in the US.

If the scammer is still in contact, help your parent end it. Hang up the phone. Stop replying to messages. Close any computer program the scammer asked them to install, and turn the device off if you are not sure. They do not need to be polite or explain.

Then sit down together. Have a cup of tea. Panic leads to more mistakes. The next steps matter, but a few calm minutes first will not change much.

The first hour: bank, cards and money

Speed matters most here. The sooner the bank knows, the better the chance of stopping or tracing a payment.

1. Call the bank. Use the number on the back of the card or on a bank statement. Never use a number from the scammer's message. Say clearly: "I think I have been the victim of fraud."
2. Freeze or cancel cards if card details, a PIN or the card itself were given away.
3. Ask about recent payments. Go through the last few days together, line by line, while on the phone.
4. Ask what happens next. Write down the date, the name of the person you spoke to and any reference number.

Stop! Think Fraud, the UK government's anti-fraud campaign, says to tell your bank as soon as possible if you have lost money or think a fraudster has access to your account. Contact them using a number you know, such as the one on their website or the back of your card^[1].

Your parent may need to speak to the bank themselves. Sit next to them. If your parent agrees, ask the bank whether you can join the call.

Passwords, devices and other accounts

Scams are not only about money already sent. Often the scammer also got information they can use again later.

The UK's National Cyber Security Centre (NCSC) gives clear steps for each situation^[2]:

• Bank details shared: contact the bank.
• A password shared: change it on every account that uses the same password.
• Software installed or a link opened: run a full scan with antivirus software if you have it.
• An account taken over: follow the NCSC steps for recovering a hacked account.

Start with your parent's email account. The NCSC says email is the key to many other accounts, so it should have a strong password used nowhere else^[3]. Turn on 2-step verification where you can. This means a code is needed as well as the password^[3].

If a scammer had remote control of a computer, it may be worth asking a trusted, local repair service to check it. Do not use a "tech support" service that calls or messages you out of the blue.

Report it to the right people

Reporting can feel pointless, but it helps. It creates a crime record, may help the bank, and helps the police spot patterns.

In the UK: In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, fraud is reported to Report Fraud (the service that replaced Action Fraud). In Scotland, it goes to Police Scotland. Stop! Think Fraud explains both routes and what to have ready^[1]. If the scam involved an investment or a fake financial firm, tell the FCA, the financial regulator, too^[4].

In the US: Report to the Federal Trade Commission at ReportFraud.ftc.gov^[5]. If it happened online, for example through email, a website or a crypto payment, also report to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)^[6].

Before you report, gather:

• dates and times of calls or messages
• phone numbers, email addresses and website links used
• how much was paid, how, and to which account
• screenshots of messages (do not delete them)

Also tell any company whose name was used, such as an energy supplier or a delivery firm, and the platform where it happened^[1].

The hardest part: shame and silence

Many older people feel deeply ashamed after a scam. They may say, "I'm so stupid," or hide it for weeks. Some fear that their children will take away their independence.

Your reaction in the first few minutes shapes everything. Try:

• "This is not your fault. These are professional criminals."
• "Thank you for telling me. You did the right thing."
• "Lots of clever people get caught. It happens every day."

Avoid "How could you fall for that?" or "I told you so." Even if you feel angry, aim it at the criminals.

Scams are common. A large review of US studies estimated that about 1 in 18 older adults living at home are affected by fraud or scams each year. The authors also noted that being exploited this way is linked with poorer physical and mental health^[7]. So watch how your parent is doing in the weeks after. Are they sleeping? Eating? Going out? Low mood and worry can follow a scam. If they last, encourage a chat with their GP or doctor.

In the UK, the charity Victim Support offers free, confidential help to victims of fraud. You can contact them yourself, or the police can refer you^[1].

If your parent seems very low or talks about not wanting to live, get help the same day. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans answer on 116 123. In the US, call or text 988.

Watch out for the second scam

This is the part many families miss. Once someone has been scammed, they are more likely to be targeted again. Stop! Think Fraud explains that fraudsters add victims' details to lists that they sell to other criminals^[1].

The most common follow-up is a recovery scam. Someone calls claiming to be from a "fraud recovery" firm, a law firm or even the police. They know details of the first scam, which makes them sound real. They say they can get the money back for a fee.

Genuine agencies do not ask for fees to recover money lost to fraud^[1]. The FCA calls these "recovery room" scams^[4]. The FBI's IC3 also warns that it never contacts people directly asking for information or money, and does not work with private firms to recover lost funds^[6].

Agree a simple rule with your parent: "Anyone who calls about the scam, I pass to you." For the next few months, check bank statements together once a week.

When the "scammer" is someone your parent knows

Not every money loss comes from a stranger. Sometimes it is a new "friend", a carer, a neighbour, or even a relative. The World Health Organization calls this financial abuse when it happens in a relationship where there is an expectation of trust^[8].

Signs can include a sudden change in money, new names on accounts, or missing belongings^[9]. In the US, MedlinePlus says to contact adult protective services if you suspect abuse, or 911 if the person is in urgent danger^[9]. In the UK, you can raise a safeguarding concern with the local council's adult social care team.

If your parent does not want you involved, read our guide on what to do when an elderly parent refuses help. It covers how to talk about choices and rights.

Making the next one less likely

Once things are calmer, think about prevention, together and with respect.

• Agree the "hang up and call back" rule. Our guide to phone scams targeting older people explains it.
• Set up a family safe phrase for calls and texts that ask for money. See the "Hi Mum" scam and grandparent scams.
• Ask the bank about alerts and payment limits.
• Keep talking. Shared stories make it easier to speak up next time.

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