How to talk to someone with hearing loss

By James editorial team, Golan Europe S.L. · Published 1 November 2026 · 8 min read

Get their attention first, then face them in good light so they can see your lips. Speak clearly at a natural pace, a little louder than usual but never shouting. If they miss something, say it once more, then put it in different words. Turn off the TV. And if hearing seems to be getting worse, gently suggest a hearing check.

Why speaking louder is not the answer

Most people with hearing loss do not need more volume. They need more clarity. Hearing loss often starts with missing some high-pitched sounds^[1]. Shouting makes your voice bigger, but it does not make your words clearer. It can also look angry, even when you are not.

Hearing loss is very common in later life. About one in three older adults has some hearing loss, says the US National Institute on Aging^[1]. The World Health Organization says more than 25% of people over 60 have hearing loss that is disabling^[2].

There is good evidence that how you speak matters. In a classic study, people with hearing loss understood 17 percentage points more of what was said when speakers talked "clearly" instead of in their normal chatty way^[3]. Clear speech means full words, small pauses between phrases, and not swallowing the ends of sentences.

Set up the room before you speak

A few seconds of setup save minutes of "Pardon?". Before an important talk, check these:

• Light on your face, not behind you. Do not sit with your back to a bright window. Your face turns into a dark shape and they lose your lips and expressions.
• Background noise off. Turn down the TV, radio or kettle. Close the window if traffic is loud. Noise is the biggest enemy of hearing.
• Close and level. Sit about an arm's length away, at the same height. Talking from another room almost never works.
• The better side. Many people hear better in one ear. Ask which side is best and sit there.
• Attention first. Say their name, or touch their arm lightly, before you start. The first few words of a sentence are often lost if they did not know you were talking.

How to speak so your words land

Once you have their attention, the way you speak does most of the work.

1. Speak a little louder than normal, but do not shout. The NIA gives exactly this advice^[1].
2. Keep a natural pace. Very slow speech sounds odd and breaks up the rhythm that helps people guess words. Just pause a little between ideas.
3. Keep your mouth visible. No hand over your mouth, no chewing, no talking while you turn away to the sink.
4. Say the topic first. "About Sunday lunch..." gives the brain a frame. Once they know the topic, they can fill gaps.
5. One idea per sentence. "The doctor moved your appointment. It is now Thursday. At ten." is easier than one long sentence.
6. Use your face and hands. Point to the clock, hold up fingers for numbers, nod or shake your head.

Names, numbers and times are the hardest things to hear, because there is no context to help. Write them down, or text them, as well as saying them.

When they miss it: repeat once, then rephrase

Some words are hard to hear no matter how often you say them. "Fifteen" and "fifty" sound alike. So do "Tuesday" and "Thursday". If you repeat the same sentence three times, you may get the same blank look three times.

Try this order:

1. Repeat it once, a bit more clearly.
2. If that fails, say it a different way. "We are leaving at six" can become "We go out at teatime, at six o'clock."
3. Give one key word. "Dentist. Tomorrow."
4. Write it down or show it on your phone.

A study of people lip-reading sentences found that any of these "repair" moves helped them understand on the next try, including rephrasing, simplifying and giving a key word^[4]. The NIA also advises repeating with different words^[1].

One thing to avoid: "Oh, never mind, it doesn't matter." It feels kind, but it shuts the person out. Over time, they stop asking and start nodding along.

Groups, meals and family gatherings

Groups are where people with hearing loss struggle most. Several people talk at once, people turn their heads, and there is noise from plates and children.

• Seat them with their back to the wall and a good view of most faces. Corners of a room are often quieter.
• Ask the family to talk one at a time. It is a fair rule for everyone.
• When the topic changes, say so. "We're talking about Jack's new job now."
• Check in quietly now and then. "Did you catch that?" said kindly and privately, not across the table.
• Choose quieter places for meals out. Soft chairs, carpets and curtains soak up sound. Hard floors and high ceilings make it echo.

If the person goes quiet at gatherings or stops coming, hearing may be part of the reason. Our guide on how to help a lonely elderly parent looks at that wider picture.

Phone calls and video calls

The phone is hard. There is no face to read, the sound is thin, and lines can be poor.

• Use video when you can. Seeing your face helps a lot. Our guide to video calling for seniors explains how to set it up.
• Turn on captions. Many video apps and some phones can show live text of what is said. It is worth trying them together.
• Call from somewhere quiet. Not from the car, a busy street or a room with the TV on.
• Hold the phone close to your mouth and speak clearly. Speakerphone on your side often sounds hollow.
• Text the details. After the call, send the date, time or address in a message.

If they hear you better on one type of phone, or with the volume turned up, help them change the settings. The NHS notes that phone amplifiers and phone or tablet apps exist, and a GP or hearing specialist can advise on them^[5].

Suggesting a hearing check without a fight

Hearing loss often comes on so slowly that the person does not notice. They may think other people mumble. Signs to look for include turning the TV up so loud that others complain, trouble on the phone, and finding it hard to follow talk when two or more people speak^[1].

Raising it can feel awkward. Some tips:

• Pick a calm, private moment, not straight after a mix-up.
• Talk about what you have noticed, not about them. "I've noticed the phone calls are harder lately" lands better than "You're going deaf."
• Make it about staying involved. "I'd love you to hear the grandchildren properly at Christmas."
• Offer to help book and go along.

In the UK, the NHS says to see a GP if hearing is slowly getting worse, and that free hearing tests are sometimes available at pharmacies and opticians^[5]. A hearing professional decides whether hearing aids or something else would help.

Some people get hearing aids and then leave them in a drawer. A review found the main reasons were that the aids did not seem to help enough and were not comfortable^[6]. Both can often be improved with a return visit for adjustment. That is worth a gentle nudge.

Sudden hearing loss is different. If hearing drops suddenly in one or both ears, or gets worse over a few days or weeks, the NHS says to ask for an urgent GP appointment^[5]. Do not wait to see if it gets better.

Why it matters: company, mood and memory

When conversation becomes hard work, many people slowly pull back. A review of studies found that hearing loss in older adults was linked to a higher risk of loneliness and social isolation^[7]. The NIA notes that people who cannot hear well are sometimes wrongly thought to be confused or unfriendly^[1].

There is also a link with memory. The WHO lists a higher risk of dementia and faster decline in thinking as effects of hearing loss that is not addressed^[2]. A review of many studies found that people who used hearing aids or cochlear implants had about a 19% lower risk of long-term decline in thinking than people whose hearing loss was not corrected^[8]. That is a link, not proof that hearing aids prevent dementia. But it is one more reason to take hearing seriously.

If you use James, you can tell him your parent has hearing loss. He then speaks more clearly rather than louder, and if something is missed, he repeats it once and then says it differently. You can read more about how James adapts for hearing loss. He is not a hearing service, and he does not replace a proper test.

James is an AI, not a doctor. For medicines and treatment ask your doctor or pharmacist.

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